How to Choose a Medical Power of Attorney and Stay Prepared

November 6, 2025

A few years ago, a close friend of mine went through something that completely changed how I look at “being prepared.” Her dad had a stroke while working in the garden. One minute he was watering plants, the next, he was in the hospital, unable to speak. The doctors were asking who could make medical decisions for him, but no one had an answer. Everyone froze.

It was heartbreaking to watch. Her mom was in shock, her siblings were arguing, and everyone was scared. Nobody knew what he would have wanted.

That day taught me something that I’ll never forget. Planning ahead isn’t just about being responsible. It’s an act of love. And that’s exactly what a Medical Power of Attorney is all about.

What a Medical Power of Attorney Really Means

A Medical Power of Attorney (MPOA) sounds like a complicated legal thing, but it’s actually simple. It’s a document that lets you choose someone you trust to make healthcare decisions if you can’t.

That person, your agent, doesn’t suddenly take over your life. They only step in if you can’t speak for yourself. Their role is to protect your wishes and make sure what you want actually happens.

It’s one of those things we tend to put off, but once it’s done, it brings a quiet kind of comfort. You know things will be okay, even if you can’t explain what you want in the moment.

Why It Matters

If you don’t have a Medical Power of Attorney, hospitals usually turn to whoever’s nearby or follow state laws about next of kin. That can work, but it can also cause a lot of tension. In stressful moments, people don’t always think clearly. They guess, they argue, they panic.

Having an MPOA avoids all that. It gives doctors one clear person to speak with and gives your family direction when things feel uncertain. It’s a simple form, but it can prevent a lot of heartache later.

How to Choose the Right Person

Choosing your agent isn’t about who’s closest to you. It’s about who knows you best. The person you trust most doesn’t have to be family. It could be a friend, a sibling, or someone who simply understands you.

Here’s what to think about:

• Who stays calm under pressure?
• Who knows how you feel about medical care and quality of life?
• Who will listen to doctors carefully and ask good questions?
• Who will do what you want, even if others disagree?

Once you decide, talk to them. It doesn’t need to be formal or serious. Maybe just bring it up during a car ride or while cooking dinner. Tell them how you feel about certain treatments or what kind of care you’d want. These honest conversations matter so much more than any form.

Keeping Your Documents in Order

Once your form is signed, keep it somewhere easy to find. In an emergency, no one wants to dig through stacks of paper.

Here’s what to keep together:

1. Your MPOA form (signed and dated).
2. A Living Will or Advance Directive describing your medical preferences.
3. A HIPAA release form so your agent can speak with doctors.
4. Health insurance cards and policy info.
5. Emergency contacts for family and doctors.
6. Photo IDs for you and your agent.

I like to keep mine in a labeled folder at home and another copy saved online. It’s one of those “just in case” things that saves everyone stress later.

Why Digital Storage Helps

Paper gets lost. It gets packed in a box or tossed by accident. That’s why having a digital copy is smart.

A secure site like InsureYouKnow.org makes it easy to upload and store important documents safely. You can label them, share access with your agent, and know that if you ever need them, they’re right there. It’s simple, private, and safe.

It’s not about being tech savvy, it’s about being practical.

Keep It Updated

Life changes. People move, relationships shift, new doctors come into your life. Once a year, take five or ten minutes to check that your MPOA and other forms are still up to date.

It doesn’t take long, but it gives you peace of mind that everything’s current.

A Final Thought

Setting up a Medical Power of Attorney isn’t about expecting bad things to happen. It’s about kindness, for yourself and the people who love you.

Once it’s done, you can stop worrying. You’ll know that, no matter what happens, your family won’t be left guessing. They’ll already know because you cared enough to prepare.

It’s not just a document. It’s peace of mind, and maybe one of the most loving things you can do.

Looking after Elderly Parents Remotely

March 1, 2024

Taking care of loved ones without being close by is a challenge. Whether you live a long drive away from aging parents or in another state, long-distance caregiving can become emotionally exhausting. If that sounds like you, know that you are not alone. Nearly 15 percent of caregivers live an average of 450 miles away. If you have recently found yourself looking after your parents from a distance, then here are some simple strategies to help you along the way.

Evaluate Your Strengths and Outsource the Rest
Be honest with yourself about your strengths. Maybe you’re comfortable handling finances but not as comfortable determining medical needs. Pinpointing the areas of need that you’ll be most suitable for is the first step in delegating the rest. You may have siblings who live closer to your parents and are willing to accompany them to their doctor’s visits. Other helpful skills include organization and communication, which could be utilized to organize schedules and communicate with medical professionals and caregivers. Once you determine what you’ll be best at handling, then you can begin to make plans to fill in the gaps.

Create a Team for Support
Speak with the rest of your family and close friends about who can help with your parents’ care. Coordinating with everyone to determine what each person is willing to do will help everyone be on the same page and turn creating a care plan into a team effort. Even if you don’t have any other siblings or family members who are able to help, then you should still meet with your parents and include them in their own care planning. For instance, ask them what you can do that will be most helpful. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to handle everything alone and to try and outsource anything you need help with as much as possible.

Establish Access to Information
Once you determine who the primary caregivers will be and who needs to be in charge of what, then it’s time to make sure those people have access to the appropriate information. Make sure that the person designated to handle bill-paying and account management on behalf of your parents has the ability to do so. Establishing the rights to have medical information released to caregivers as well as decision-making rights is another imperative. This can also be a legal issue down the road, so making sure that you or another trusted party is the power of attorney, who is appointed to make financial and medical decisions, will need to be determined. 

Revisit Living Arrangements
Sometimes a loved one’s health requires them to be closer to you. If it’s possible to relocate to where they live or have them move in with you, then that may be something worth exploring. If it’s not possible to live together, then senior living communities have the upside of being able to provide 24/7 care. Many older people don’t require full-time care though, so if relocation isn’t feasible, then hiring a home care aide or personal care assistant is another option.

Schedule Regular In-Person Visits
If you cannot live close to your parents, then making plans to see them will accomplish several things. First, you’ll instantly alleviate some of the caregiver guilt you may be experiencing just by knowing when you’ll be able to visit them next. Second, you’ll be able to check on them in-person, as you may not have an accurate assessment of their condition and needs from a distance. “It’s hard keeping a handle on their health, how they’re doing, physically, mentally, psychologically and emotionally, when you’re not there,” says Amy Goyer, AARP’s family and caregiving expert. “Isolation is a big thing and they can tell you, oh, I’m doing fine and everything on the phone, but is that really what’s happening?”

Lastly, but most importantly, you’ll be able to spend some much-needed quality time with your parents when visiting. If you are not the primary caregiver, then coordinate with them on when the best time to visit is and offer them a break. Plan in advance what you can do when you’re there to help out. Then speak with your parents about what they would like to do with you during your visit. Since visits can go by quickly, especially when there is so much to do, set priorities ahead of time about what’s most important once you’re there.

Remain Connected When You’re Apart
Schedule regular phone calls with your parents and ask for updates from their caregivers. With their permission, you may even choose to attend their telehealth visits and doctor’s appointments virtually. “The frequency of contact is dependent on the type and level of care needed,” says Iris Waichler, author of Role Reversal, How to Take Care of Yourself and Your Aging Parents. “It should be a collaborative decision, if possible, rather than a unilateral mandate from the caregiver.”

Regular communication can keep your bond with your parents strong, as long as it remains an enjoyable experience for all of you.

Take Care of Yourself as Well
Caregiving can come with a heavy emotional load. It will become just as important to check in with yourself in your new role as caregiver. “Caregivers may often feel like they can do more and this can cause ruminating thoughts,” says Brittany Ferri, geriatric care occupational therapist. “In this instance, they may benefit from practicing positive self-care and self-talk along with their loved one to keep the lines of communication open while relieving stress.”

It’s hard to be a good caregiver, when you’re running on empty, so taking care of yourself as well is just as important as taking care of those depending on you. Show yourself compassion, make sure you’re recharging, and be kind to yourself.

Insureyouknow.org
While it can be a challenge to care for your parents from a distance, that doesn’t mean it’s not manageable. By planning ahead and creating a care team, you can make sure your parents are cared for even when you can’t be close at all times. Insureyouknow.org can help you compile care plans, schedules, financial information, and medical records all in one place. Then you can rest easy that you have a plan set in motion, ensuring that your parents will be well-taken care of.