Making Friends at Any Age: Why It’s Never Too Late
April 1, 2025
As you get older, you have more responsibilities and are busier than when you were younger, so it may seem like you have less time to make friends. Due to family and professional responsibilities and eventually retirement, people only go to a handful of locations outside their home.
“People make friends in all stages of life,” says Saba Lurie, licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. “Maintaining and making new friends as we age may be more difficult because we’re spending less time going to places such as work, religious and community centers.”
By being willing to connect with new people and stay in touch with our friends, developing a rich social network is possible as we age and is beneficial to our health.
The Liking Gap and Acceptance Prophecy
When people meet others for the first time, they perceive themselves to be less likeable than they are. Researchers call this phenomenon the “liking gap.” That means that when you meet people for the first time, they will likely enjoy your company more than you realize. If you keep that in mind, it may be easier to introduce yourself to new people and feel more confident in how you’re perceived.
If you believe that others will accept you, then the odds of you being accepted by them rise. Conversely, if you think other people won’t take you upon meeting you, the odds increase that they won’t. This is called the “acceptance prophecy.” So if you believe they’ll like you when you meet someone new, they probably will.
Remembering the liking gap and acceptance prophecy when interacting with others for the first time should empower you and give you the courage to put yourself out there more often.
Where to Meet New People
No matter what kind of friend you’re looking for, the best place to start is with what interests you. If your job is also a passion, you may want to try connecting with your coworkers at work and off hours.
But if your job is simply what you do and not necessarily what you love doing, consider incorporating more hobbies into your schedule. That could be joining a gardening meetup, running club, or pickup basketball game.
Outside of work and other hobbies, consider your identity. Are you a mom of young children, for instance? Then you may want to find a mommy and me playgroup or join the parent-teacher association at your child’s school.
Putting yourself around others with similar passions, interests, or lifestyles makes it easy to find things to discuss and relate to each other. “Take an art class, volunteer at the library. Develop some regular routines,” says Lurie. “You need to take a step in showing up.”
Companionship Versus Deep Connections
It’s important to remember that there are different kinds of friends. Some friends are good companions while at work or as a workout buddy at the gym. These types of connections can become more substantial in time, but if not, that doesn’t mean that these types of companions are less valuable. People who have more companions and social interactions with new people are happier than those who have fewer as well as being happier on days when they have more encounters. “These minimal social interactions give us something important that we missed during the pandemic: novelty,” says Gillian Sandstrom, senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Sussex. “We learn surprising things when we have unplanned encounters and conversations with people.”
Most people only form deep connections with a handful of people in their lifetime. These are the relationships that stand the test of time and distance. Many people with this kind of connection can go years without seeing each other but maintain closeness by checking in regularly with one another. With long-term friendships such as these, it’s important to work at fostering them, whether that’s making the point to see them in person when you can or by staying in regular contact with them through texting, phone calls, and video chats.
Keeping Friends Close During Hardships
Sometimes, life gets challenging or overwhelming. Many people will self-isolate when the going gets tough instead of reaching out to those around them, but the hard times hold friendship benefits. Reaching out to a friend when you need support can strengthen that bond, while feeling connected to others alleviates stress. Researchers have even found that people judged a hill to be less steep when accompanied by a friend.
While making time for friends, whether old or new, may seem like yet another to-do on an already overflowing plate, feeling connected to others more often may help you feel like your life is more manageable. With Insureyouknow.org, you may keep track of your calendar, social obligations, and other essential appointments. By keeping your schedule organized, you can focus on showing up and enjoying the company of your comrades.